


This Is The Way

by owlhart (saidanon)



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29462751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saidanon/pseuds/owlhart
Summary: Philippa held her gaze, leaning forward and touching her forehead against hers as she placed Triss’ hand over her chest. The rhythmic thumping of Philippa’s heart pulsed against Triss’ fingertips, steady and soothing.The tears fell from Triss’ eyes and Philippa shushed her gently, giving her hand a little squeeze and pressing it harder against her chest, fingers splayed between the gaps of hers.It beats - “For you and only you.”
Relationships: Philippa Eilhart/Triss Merigold
Kudos: 14





	This Is The Way

_So this is the way that I say I need you._

Winter tumbled headfirst into spring, luscious fields of green scattered with magneta ginatias and white myrtle peaking through the melting snow as blowballs swayed in the warm breeze and hellebores danced under the golden sunlight. The skies were painted a baby blue, white wispy streaks of clouds floating lazily across it and Triss would have loved for nothing more than to lie on the grass and stare at the clouds all day. But alas, she was stuck inside the Tretogor palace at a summit with Foltest, who was bickering over something trivial with Vizimir. 

The meeting dragged on and on and on and despite her best efforts to focus on the matters being discussed, her mind wandered off before being pulled back to the present when she felt the weight of Philippa’s gaze burning into the side of her face, heavy and restless. Triss wet her lips unconsciously and Philippa’s eyes flickered down towards them briefly before snapping up to meet her eyes. Triss shot her a curious look but Philippa withdrew into herself - not visibly but Triss knew her well enough by now to recognise the signs - walls slipping back into place, and the moment of connection was broken.

When the two monarchs had grown tired of arguing, they retired into the dining hall for a drink - though to be honest, Triss thought she also deserved a drink - leaving the two sorceresses alone in the great hall. Triss moved over to stand beside Philippa, who was simply staring out the large glass windows.

“It’s a beautiful day,” Triss said, “but you seem like you have a lot on your mind.” 

Philippa’s shoulders deflated ever so slightly.

“I always do.”

They shared in the heavy silence for a while before Triss turned to leave, only for Philippa to catch her by the hand. Triss let out a soft gasp and glanced over her shoulder. Philippa was still staring out the window and she had never looked beautiful than now, bathed in the warm orange glow of the setting sun.

“Stay.”

The single word lacked Philippa’s usual authoritative tone but was instead tinged with hesitance and uncertainty, a cross between a question and a plea. 

Triss recognised the unspoken meaning and she nodded, brushing a thumb across the back of Philippa’s hand.

“Ok.”

And Philippa smiled.

* * *

_This is the way that I say I love you._

Summer rolled in like a heat wave, and everything from the temperatures, the colours and people’s emotions, seemed to intensify. 

After much pleading and cajoling, Philippa had allowed Triss to drag her to Toussaint on one of those rare weekends when neither of them had to attend to any pressing matters.

Beauclair was bustling with life with all its sophistication and elegance, and the two of them spent the better part of the day wandering through the maze of multi-coloured buildings, heels clicking on the cobblestones and hands brushing against each others. Philippa ordered a few boxes of Everluce and Est Est from the winery to be sent to Montecalvo and Triss restocked on some rare herbs at the herb store. They explored every nook and cranny of the city, ambling past the jewellers - Triss’ eyes almost popped out at the size of one of the sapphires which Philippa found comically appealing - and the perfumery and the tavern. 

And when Triss’ stomach started to protest quite loudly, Philippa let out a low chuckle and led Triss to the Knights Dormant Square, where they sat down outdoors at a restaurant overlooking the lake, the Beauclair Palace a majestic background against the backdrop of the surrounding mountains. 

Triss wished that she could capture this moment - a profile of Philippa glancing out at the waters that sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight, swirling her Fiorano with a content smile tugging at the corner of her lips - it was absolutely picturesque.

“I wish we could have more time to enjoy life like this,” Triss mused, resting her chin on her palm.

Philippa hummed in agreement, taking a sip from her glass slowly. 

“We will, once we’ve changed the world.”

Triss stared out across the lake, trying to hide the blush flaring up in her cheeks. “We?”

“Hm?”

“You said ‘we’.”

“And?”

A heat started creeping up the back of her neck and Triss rubbed at it nervously.

“It’s nothing.”

Philippa placed her glass down on the table, eyes softening a fraction. “It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you that much.”

Triss bit her bottom lip, taking her time to collect her thoughts. Philippa waited patiently, neither pressing her nor dismissing her, and for that, Triss was grateful.

“Sometimes, I just don’t feel like I’m good enough. I know I am. But sometimes...it’s just a feeling, like I’m not as powerful or as experienced or beautiful,” her hand fiddled with the collar of her blouse, “and...I don’t know, I just look around me and...I wish I could be...more. Just _more_.” Triss winced sheepishly. “Never mind, I’m just being silly. Forget I said anything.”

Pursing her lips, Philippa turned to face Triss fully with a serious expression.

“It’s easy to doubt yourself, but you are beautiful and you are powerful. And your power and experience will increase over time. Wanting to achieve more is not a bad thing by any means. But do not change for anyone else. You are who you are, who you can be, who you _want_ to be, regardless of what others may think or what they expect you to be. Don’t compare yourselves to them, because they don’t hold a candle to you.”

Triss sucked in a breath, looking slightly emotional. 

“Thank you.” - _for believing in me; for loving me and for loving me for who I am._

Nodding, Philippa took another sip of her wine and slid a velvet box across the table almost casually.

Triss’ eyes bugged out once again at the cornflower blue sapphire pendant hanging from the silver chain.

“It reminded me of your eyes,” Philippa shrugged.

* * *

_This is the way that I say I’m yours._

Summer eased into autumn seamlessly, warm shades of red, orange and yellow washing away the cooler blues and greens. 

Philippa had been gone for the whole day, attending the autumn solstice festival with a noblewomen and Triss could only imagine the more intimate activities they would get up to that night. And against her better judgement, jealousy curled around her heart with a vicelike grip and try as she may, she could not shake the feeling, no matter how much she told herself that Philippa was only doing it to obtain information and leverage.

It was irrational and it was unfounded, but insecurity and lack of confidence was something that had been engrained in her since she had been young. She had gotten better at overcoming such flaws but now and again, they would rear their ugly heads and she would have to fight to avoid sinking into the abyss.

Sleep evaded her most of the night and by the time Philippa returned the next morning, the anxiety in her heart had grown, lodging itself in her throat and twisting her stomach and gut unforgivingly.

“Triss?”

Her head snapped up towards the sound when Philippa stepped into the room.

“What’s wrong?”

Triss flinched slightly at the hard tone. Wringing her hands frantically, she mumbled, “nothing, I just...you...you were just gone for a while and I was wondering when you’d be back and-”

“Triss,” Philippa interrupted, taking both of Triss’ hands in her own. “Stop pacing. Look at me.”

Triss stopped, insecurity fluttering across her face. Philippa held her gaze, leaning forward and touching her forehead against hers as she placed Triss’ hand over her chest. The rhythmic thumping of Philippa’s heart pulsed against Triss’ fingertips, steady and soothing. 

She knew how Philippa felt about her - Philippa would never voice it in such obvious terms but she would let Triss know in her way. Still, there was always an insecurity tucked away in the back of her mind, a little part of her that always needed reassurance. It was stupid because she knew better - she knew Philippa’s mind, she knew her heart. She knew _Philippa_.

It was stupid.

It was so stupid.

Gods _, she_ was so stupid.

The tears fell from Triss’ eyes and Philippa shushed her gently, giving her hand a little squeeze and pressing it harder against her chest, fingers splayed between the gaps of hers.

_It beats -_ “For you and only you.”

Triss nodded wordlessly, biting her lip to keep the sobs from escaping even though her shoulders shook with the effort.

Philippa kissed away her tears.

“And you have all of it.”

Triss buried her face into the crook of Philippa’s neck and Philippa wrapped the younger sorceress in her embrace.

“All of it.”

* * *

_This is the way that I’m learning to breathe._

The trees shed their autumn robes of fire red and golden yellow and the thick carpet of crisp leaves was soon replaced with a velvety bed of snow. Triss breathed in the sweetness of the air with a blissful smile, the chill sending goosebumps across her arms almost deliciously. 

She had always loved everything about winter - the crisp air, the shimmering drift of snowflakes, the refreshing crunch of the snow beneath her feet - there was a tranquility and a sense of freedom that she associated with the whiteness of winter.

The gentle flapping of wings caught her attention and she looked up just in time to see a grey owl soar through the air, dipping down gently as it drew closer before landing on her shoulder. 

“Hitching a ride?” Triss twisted her head and placed a tender kiss on its beak. “Are you tired already?”

Philippa gave her a piercing look and let out a quiet hoot in response before she started fluffing her feathers. Triss smiled fondly and rubbed the top of her head, relishing the softness of her feathers. Philippa hunkered down at her touch and shifted slightly closer to Triss’ cheek, eyes sliding close in comfort.

Triss continued on her way, the rhythm of her footsteps lulling Philippa into a semi-conscious state and she nestled her head against the welcome warmth of Triss’ cheek. Triss slowed to a stop at the steps of the staircase leading from the garden to the castle of Montecalvo and turned to look once more across the blanket of snow.

She inhaled deeply and her heart swelled at the same time.

“I love you very much,” she whispered to the sky.

Philippa nuzzled her chin affectionately, a hoot rumbling in her chest, and Triss had never felt more content.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot


End file.
